Monday, July 23, 2018

Cooper: A Follow-up

"His weight and height are gorgeous."
Music to ANY mother's ears. 
I don't care if your baby came late (like our first), drinks formula, nurses like a champ, or came wayyyy too early like our second...for a parent, those have to be some of the most reassuring words anyone has ever put together in a sentence.

And it's what the dietitian told me at Cooper's developmental follow-up appointment last week.

I should note that weight gain was a struggle for both of our boys early on (obviously for very different reasons), so these words fell even sweeter on this momma's ears. 

Our baby boy is just a few days away from being 9 months old.
NINE MONTHS OLD.
He has been home with us for almost exactly 6 months!
And to put things simply, that is exactly where he is developmentally. He is a 9 month old wrapped up in a 6 month old's body. He came almost exactly 3 months too early. It's confusing to explain to people sometimes because he is absolutely 9 months old. But we see him through the lens of a 6 month old. And that's the way it will be for a couple of years. We'll have these developmental check-ups every six months until he's two years old.

At this appointment, we saw a nurse, an occupational therapist, a dietician, and a doctor. Each of them had wonderful things to say about Cooper's development and growth. We were encouraged to keep doing what we're doing, but we recognize that Cooper's progress is nothing short of the grace of God. I couldn't help but thank and praise Him out loud as I walked to my car with my premature baby on my hip. The one who had all of the ladies in that office wrapped around his chubby little finger.
Thank you, Lord.

He checked off all of the developmental things: looking at pictures, turning towards sounds, rolling over, responding to his name, grabbing for objects. Things like that. The only thing the OT mentioned was that his hips are tight, and she showed us how to position him to limber them up as he works towards sitting up soon. The dietician told us we could begin introducing him to fruits and veggies at the end of the month and continued to assure us that viewing him as a 6 month old at this point is only fair and that with that in mind, his weight, height, and noggin sizes are spot on.

I can't hold this baby without remembering from which he came. From which we ALL came.
You are a gift to us all, little big man.








Saturday, July 7, 2018

I'm behind, but it's okay.

I haven't blogged in SO LONG.
I have much catching up to do and there are several things that I want to document on here including two BIG DEAL family trips to Florida, two SUPER SPECIAL hometown visits, and a zoo day with Nolan ALL TO MYSELF. But my lack of blogging and not staying on top of all of the things is honestly a reflection of where my heart is desiring to be lately. 
Free.
Free from the things that I believe are worthy of my striving. 
And they just aren't.
And never will be.
I am free to blog today about things that happened a long time ago.
I am free to not have my act together.
I am free because God's grace is sufficient for the major and seemingly minor.
When things begin to wreck havoc on my heart in a way they were never meant to, I'm realizing it's time for me to step back and practice being present in light of His presence. Things wreck havoc because I'm ultimately believing that my fulfillment and value come from them.
False.

Ever since I found myself in a California hospital fighting for mine and our unborn baby's life, I find myself STILL living in many ways day by day. But I think in a holy way. There are absolutely things that I plan ahead for and look forward to that go far beyond the handful of hours ahead of me, but being present and sanctified in the moments I'm given now is a place I find God bringing me back to over and over again. 
It's ridiculous how even now as I'm typing this, anxiety is trying to creep in. It vies for my attention and energy often these days. But then my focus hones in on my son playing with a fire truck on the floor at my feet. He is singing "What a Beautiful Name" and suddenly, I feel peace.

"Abide in me," He says.
Over and over again.

This isn't even what I had planned on blogging about today. Maybe I'll blog about that tomorrow.
Freedom.


Thursday, April 26, 2018

Two + Two

Cooper has officially been home for longer than the time he was in the NICU (praise!!!), and I can't think of a better way to celebrate than by finally posting the insanely special family photos our Uncle Craig took a few weeks ago.

We technically have a 6 month old, but it pretty much feels like we've been given an extended stay in Newbornland with its trials and its errors. But above all else there is joy and there is grace here. Lots and lots of both. I am just so grateful to be in this place of figuring out our dynamic and what being a family of four looks like for us.

Because it means there are four of us.
And I'm SO grateful for these pictures because they capture just that.
I'm in love.








































Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.
-Psalm 63:3-4

Saturday, February 10, 2018

Cooper: Weeks 11-13

This post is coming nowhere near the real-life timeline of when these events took place.

But three words will explain everything:

COOPER IS HOME.
And has been, as of today, for 2 weeks and 2 days.

Would you believe the NICU days are already starting to feel like a blur? They really and truly are. The 90 days spent traveling back and forth, longing for the day we'd (Lord willing) never have to endure this season again are beginning to feel far away. 
But all I have to do is count to 90 outloud...
and suddenly the reality of those days sinks back in and I'm reminded of just how faithful God was and continues to be for us. I'll post an update about our first weeks at home later, but for now I still wanted to be sure I documented Cooper's last weeks in the NICU.

Enjoy our walk down memory lane.

WEEK 11
weighs 5 lb!
not putting on enough weight though
3rd percentile for weight
Nolan spent long weekend with grandparents so we could diligently work with Cooper on bottle feeding
seen by an occupational therapist
tried taking him off of his nasal cannula (oxygen) but lasted only a few minutes before going back on










WEEK 12
switched from adding Elecare in breastmilk to adding Neosure
began using a new preemie flow bottle
doing GREAT with it
weighs 5 lb, 8 oz
began acting abnormally sleepy
low hematocrit levels so received his third blood transfusion
began acting like a new baby
Mommy ran into one of her former 8th grade students who has TRIPLETS in the NICU
off of nasal cannula FOR GOOD
best nursing session so far
met Jenn Whitesides
found out Mommy's blood clot is gone! no more blood thinner shots!
circumcision
passed hearing test
moved upstairs to PEDS unit to make more room in ISN













WEEK 13
graduated from having premature eye development to maturing
no eye exams for 6 months
TOOK AN ENTIRE BOTTLE FOR THE FIRST TIME (50 mL)
met Auntie Lana and Uncle Shane
reached our due date
absolutely nothing on his face for the first time before having to put a feeding tube back in
passed carseat challenge
no more pulse ox on foot
Kev and I roomed in with Cooper for two nights, one with monitors and one without
5 lb, 12 oz
DISCHARGED 1/25/17 around noon!!!
MET BIG BROTHER FOR THE FIRST TIME




























Welcome home sweet home, Cooper Rellie.