Saturday, May 24, 2014

A New Profession: SAHM


So, I said goodbye to my fourth round of students yesterday. It's so crazy to think that I've already taught four whole years, and yet, it feels like so many more. My first year teaching 6th grade science at Bartlett Middle in a new city within the context of a brand new marriage seems like ages ago. But I remember that craziness like it was yesterday. I've spent the last three years within the same four walls, teaching the same subject, under the same principal, at the same school. (Man, I love consistency.) Godley Station is where I found my teaching home and really had the chance to establish roots in my career. I grew to love 8th graders (it's the truth) and Physical Science. I'm also so incredibly thankful for the lifelong friendships I've established there. But it hasn't really hit me yet. The fact that I won't return to teaching next school year. But come August, when everyone else is tidying up their classrooms, welcoming the new faces, and establishing routines, I'm sure I'll grow a little sad. The first day of school is totally my favorite. But my sadness won't last long. Nope. Because our baby boy will be joining us shortly after the new school year begins. 
Aaaaaand cue my cheesy grin.

For those of you who may not know, I have dreamed of being a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) one day. And to finally have that dream become a reality? Well, it's a little unreal. Don't get me wrong. I haven't been dreaming about it as in counting down the days to not teaching anymore. Teaching is something that I truly love. I wanted to get a few years in on purpose. People think I'm crazy, but (most days) middle schoolers really are the best. Saying "goodbye" to teaching and "hello" to mommyhood in the same breath is most definitely bittersweet. But as each day to meeting Nolan creeps closer and closer, it's most certainly getting sweeter. 
Yes, I would like to go back to teaching. When? I have no clue. 
That all depends on:

A. Whether or not being a stay-at-home-mom is a good fit for me
B. How many kids we have
C. Whether or not I'll wait to go back once they're each in school

But I do know that I am ecstatic, fearful, anxious (you name it) to embrace the changes that are yet to come. The hardships that are sure to show face. And the adjustments that are sure to bombard us. The Lord has shown us grace upon grace upon grace as we enter this new chapter in our lives. The peace that Kev and I feel as we do so can only be of the Lord. There are just so many "unknowns" to it all still. But then, that's the beauty of it, isn't it? 

Lord, grow us, strengthen us, and teach us to abide in You as we trust that...
...the best is yet to come.




Monday, May 12, 2014

I am a mommy.

Four of my favorite words. Especially yesterday.

I celebrated my very first Mother's Day! 
I am a mommy, after all :).

I have to give a special shout-out to my very own mama-belle (hehe, she secretly hates it when I call her that). But I love it. She is a beauty, inside and out. She is steady and confident and radiates her Savior's love in a way I've always cherished and admired. Thank you, Mama, for setting such a beautiful standard for me. You truly are so graceful in your mommyhood. I hope I can be half as graceful in mine.

I love you to the moon.
As I ponder being a mom, the word "transparency" keeps coming to mind. One day my "mommyhood" will become more real, more tangible. The day Nolan is in our arms and meets us face to face, I can only imagine all of the emotions we will feel. But I pray that from day one, I carry a transparency and vulnerability as a mom that reveals not my need to do better. Not my need to be a good mom. But my constant need for a Savior. I pray that I'm not afraid to fail in front of my husband and my son. But instead, my hope is that I'll be a mom who practices repentance. And that the Gospel will prevail in our home. It's a bold prayer, but it's a deep desire in my heart for our family. May we always strive to rest in what Christ has already done for us on that cross.


I'll close with a few highlights from my Mother's Day (but weekend-long) celebration. 

On Saturday we hit the beach for several hours (Nolan's first beach trip!) to watch friends play in a (legit) volleyball tournament.
(Side note: I may have been a little too excited to try out my new bathing suit!) 

And Sunday consisted of:

 breakfast in bed

seafood at Fiddler's

and a relaxing evening at home (power outages and all).
And all with my handsome baby-daddy.

Oh...and my first Mother's Day gift? It was definitely a surprise since we had promised no gifts. But...considering it brought me to tears and filled my heart with more joy than it could handle...I guess I can let this broken promise slide ;). 

I love you too, sweet boy.