Monday, July 23, 2018

Cooper: A Follow-up

"His weight and height are gorgeous."
Music to ANY mother's ears. 
I don't care if your baby came late (like our first), drinks formula, nurses like a champ, or came wayyyy too early like our second...for a parent, those have to be some of the most reassuring words anyone has ever put together in a sentence.

And it's what the dietitian told me at Cooper's developmental follow-up appointment last week.

I should note that weight gain was a struggle for both of our boys early on (obviously for very different reasons), so these words fell even sweeter on this momma's ears. 

Our baby boy is just a few days away from being 9 months old.
NINE MONTHS OLD.
He has been home with us for almost exactly 6 months!
And to put things simply, that is exactly where he is developmentally. He is a 9 month old wrapped up in a 6 month old's body. He came almost exactly 3 months too early. It's confusing to explain to people sometimes because he is absolutely 9 months old. But we see him through the lens of a 6 month old. And that's the way it will be for a couple of years. We'll have these developmental check-ups every six months until he's two years old.

At this appointment, we saw a nurse, an occupational therapist, a dietician, and a doctor. Each of them had wonderful things to say about Cooper's development and growth. We were encouraged to keep doing what we're doing, but we recognize that Cooper's progress is nothing short of the grace of God. I couldn't help but thank and praise Him out loud as I walked to my car with my premature baby on my hip. The one who had all of the ladies in that office wrapped around his chubby little finger.
Thank you, Lord.

He checked off all of the developmental things: looking at pictures, turning towards sounds, rolling over, responding to his name, grabbing for objects. Things like that. The only thing the OT mentioned was that his hips are tight, and she showed us how to position him to limber them up as he works towards sitting up soon. The dietician told us we could begin introducing him to fruits and veggies at the end of the month and continued to assure us that viewing him as a 6 month old at this point is only fair and that with that in mind, his weight, height, and noggin sizes are spot on.

I can't hold this baby without remembering from which he came. From which we ALL came.
You are a gift to us all, little big man.








Saturday, July 7, 2018

I'm behind, but it's okay.

I haven't blogged in SO LONG.
I have much catching up to do and there are several things that I want to document on here including two BIG DEAL family trips to Florida, two SUPER SPECIAL hometown visits, and a zoo day with Nolan ALL TO MYSELF. But my lack of blogging and not staying on top of all of the things is honestly a reflection of where my heart is desiring to be lately. 
Free.
Free from the things that I believe are worthy of my striving. 
And they just aren't.
And never will be.
I am free to blog today about things that happened a long time ago.
I am free to not have my act together.
I am free because God's grace is sufficient for the major and seemingly minor.
When things begin to wreck havoc on my heart in a way they were never meant to, I'm realizing it's time for me to step back and practice being present in light of His presence. Things wreck havoc because I'm ultimately believing that my fulfillment and value come from them.
False.

Ever since I found myself in a California hospital fighting for mine and our unborn baby's life, I find myself STILL living in many ways day by day. But I think in a holy way. There are absolutely things that I plan ahead for and look forward to that go far beyond the handful of hours ahead of me, but being present and sanctified in the moments I'm given now is a place I find God bringing me back to over and over again. 
It's ridiculous how even now as I'm typing this, anxiety is trying to creep in. It vies for my attention and energy often these days. But then my focus hones in on my son playing with a fire truck on the floor at my feet. He is singing "What a Beautiful Name" and suddenly, I feel peace.

"Abide in me," He says.
Over and over again.

This isn't even what I had planned on blogging about today. Maybe I'll blog about that tomorrow.
Freedom.