Friday, January 1, 2016

2015: A Grace-filled Year

Kevin and I were standing in the kitchen this morning while he fixed us eggs for breakfast. Randomly a question popped in my head, so I asked him, "What happened this past year that you would say is noteworthy?" Without hesitation, he said, "We survived."

When I began to think back on last year and all that 2015 held for me and for my family, I was initially tempted to see it as uneventful. No new babies (and that is SO ok, for now). We didn't move. We didn't face any super hard decisions. At first I couldn't recall anything happening that threw us in a tail-spin, good or bad. 

But Kev and I started talking. And remembering. And throughout the day, all of the beauty and ugly of this past year has flooded my mind. And my heart. In the very best way.

I don't intend on putting anything about this post on Instagram or Facebook simply because I'm only posting it to remember. I don't want to forget just how eventful this past year truly was on a level that goes way beyond the surface.

If anyone stumbles upon it and reads it, awesome. I hope, like me, you're encouraged, comforted by the fact that you aren't the only one who struggles, and reminded of just how infinitely good our God is.

God always does what He says He will do.

Through various avenues, I've been reminded of this time and time and time again this year. God is the ultimate promise keeper and promise fulfiller. And on multiple occasions it gave me hope when I needed it the most. That in the thick of something trying, or hard, or unknown, God has kept his promises since the beginning of time and all throughout history. And he still does today. He has never promised me success. Or prosperity. Or comfort. He's never told me life would be easy. But he says I'm loved because of the cross. He says that I don't have to live in fear or worry or have self doubt because Jesus was more than enough to cover it all. He says that I have nothing good to bring to the table, but he did something about that. He sent Jesus. 

These truths along with SO many others have sustained my heart, especially within the past year. I look back on the timing of so many things, and I'm in awe. I'm literally shaking my head because God's sovereignty blows my mind. From Kev's struggle with anxiety to financial needs being met in unbelievably gracious ways. From trusting God in our parenting and our finances to Nolan's constant bouts with viruses (which sent us to the ER multiple times and only strengthened our financial faith). We decided as a family to be more intentional with people God has placed in our direct line of sight and with our time. It all points back to God. Every. Last. Bit.

And that doesn't even include all of the ways God has worked outside of our immediate family and in the lives of those in our circle of daily rhythms. I've gotten to watch first hand the struggle of two of my closest friends waiting to be chosen by a birth mother and now as they count down the days to when their adoptive daughter will be born in early Spring. Their sanctification and longing has pointed me to Jesus more times than I can count. I got to share the Gospel with a very dear friend, who by God's grace, I've even had the honor of knowing and getting to hang with. And other friendships have blossomed in ways I hope will last a lifetime.

Just wow.

Thank you, Lord, for your Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love. Thank you for my husband who treasures and pursues my heart unlike any other. Thank you for our son who points us to You. We need you. You have never left us. God, thank you for revealing idols in my own heart. I pray that the life of comfort my heart wants to believe it needs never comes if it means I'll stop depending on you. If Kev's anxiety has been put in place to keep us dependent on You, alleluia. I'm terrified to forget our need for you.

We love you.


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